


Memory

by TheFullmidgetAlchemist



Category: Bleach
Genre: M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Sad, THIS DOES NOT ACTUALLY HAPPEN, ahahaha fuck me up already, my sons deserve to LIVE, spoils last arc of manga a bit, yet - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-14
Updated: 2015-11-14
Packaged: 2018-05-01 14:07:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5208692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFullmidgetAlchemist/pseuds/TheFullmidgetAlchemist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At the last moments of his life, Shunsui Kyouraku realises what he should have always known.</p><p>He was not alone.</p><p>-- comes with a little drabble at the end<br/>i made myself horribly sad with this<br/>help me</p>
            </blockquote>





	Memory

**Author's Note:**

> i regret everything

Falling.

Ever deeper.

Lonely. Cold.

He felt his throat start clogging up as despair took over rational thought. He was reaching the end of his strength.

A feeling of warmth, as fleeting as the shadow of a bird as it crosses across the sky, touched his body suddenly. He'd already started go numb, from cold or fear, he'd not known. A small, soft pressure pressed itself against his face, his arms, his body, and suddenly, he wasn't alone.

Memory flooded the dank, dark space around him, a ray of light through the murky darkness. A semblance of sound came to him, the echoes of laughter that made his heart soar. The feeling of a hand, cool skin against his own, brushing away his hair from his face.

His hair was still loose then, flying around him in a cloud of brown curls. His eyes, so much younger, had already become accustomed to finding peace in the other's eyes, to absorb the calm tranquillity from that sea-green gaze. The sun was warm, but not as warm as the smile that was bestowed on him, a smile he'd never felt he'd deserved, a smile that always made him wonder what the other saw in him.

A kiss, a kiss as light as the silk touch of hair that tickled his face, hair that contrasted so greatly to his own, both in texture and in colour. The first kiss? Possibly. The feeling of wonder that he'd felt at that moment confirmed this, and, now, he felt again this emotion, an emotion that he'd always felt when it came to the other. Wonder at how such a man could have so much love in him, at how he could direct that to such a man as he was, how he found in him the incredible urge to live, and experience life with all its joys and troubles. The wonder, that this man wanted to share this life with him.

He remembered other memories, memories that made his skin burn, burn like it had burned then, under his touch, strong yet gentle, tentative yet daring. He felt again the fingers trailing through his hair, over the map of scars on his body, the ragged breathing that tore out of his lungs matched by the other's, the intense emotions that coursed through him as his arms clung to the fragile strength before him leaving reason far behind, pressing closer to each other as if to merge their bodies into one unified being.

What an emotion, love.

To have experienced love was by far the biggest wonder in his life.

Love so strong that he felt all the other man's pain as if it were his own, suffering through every illness that the other experienced with his usual jaunty attitude, the tears coming much later, out of view of anyone, hidden away in the darkness of his despair.

But these did not stick around long, these memories of such terrible, worrying times. They were replaced by small snatches of song, the song being his name repeated again and again over a multitude of years, sometimes with passion, sometimes with endearing affection and tenderness that brought tears to his eyes. Tumbling into his overloaded senses came glimpses of this singular person who had dominated the best part of his life, glimpses of a smile that had immediately stolen his heart, and of the eyes that had managed to communicate to him such volumes of emotions. He remembered his fingers lacing through his own, squeezing with his characteristic, quiet strength, the arms, as scarred as his own, winding around him, embracing him. He remembered the precious, sincere love that was bestowed on him in so many ways.

They say your life flashes before your eyes in the seconds before you die.

For him, his life was embodied by this man.

And as the last traces of these memories faded, and he was left to confront the darkness on his own, he found that he was smiling. What an irony, that at the last, despairing moments of his life, he was happy.

He'd lived a good life, after all.

**\- 150 words drabble -**

The darkness had returned. He was falling into it.

It was a long way down.

His memories flashed in front of his eyes, memories of love, of tender touches and kisses and passion, memories of despair and loneliness and pain, and in them all, one person stood out – always there, always by his side.

Was that what love should be like?

He blinked, and just like that, he was alone with the darkness again.

Alone?

No.

Never alone.

A hand reached out to him from the darkness, followed by a body. His white hair shone in the darkness.

He was crying through his smile, reaching out to him, as he'd always done.

“Let's go home,” he said, his voice wavering all over the place. He opened his eyes, tears spilling over. “Together,” he added softly, moving closer.

And for once, Shunsui allowed himself to accept that yes, he wasn't alone.  
In fact, he’d never been.

He took hold of his hand, and together, they went.

**Author's Note:**

> join me in hell where we can drown in our tears
> 
> \-- originally posted on my tumblr, thefullmidgetalchemist --
> 
> pls don't kill me
> 
> Claire xxxxx


End file.
